| haaaay... sunday morning... its 2 am... badtrip si jomarc.. di nagpaparamdam.. AGAIN! haaay.. watched white chicks, now watching a cinderella story =) [r2!!!! amishooo] sigh... i wonder when my prince will come? [dear god, i've been good =) pls make it Luke Jickain! =)]
haaay was at star city earlier... utang na loob! lakas ng trip ng mga tao dito sa bahay e! ehehe was textin with pao the whole time.. hahaha... badtrip nga e.. sayang... labo kasi plans nila mike e.. hahhaa... oh well... theres always a next time =)
shit! damn.. ok hold up, lord, si chad michael murray na lang! hahaha ugh.. i hate hang ups... i really do... *sigh* buhay nga naman... i hate not being in control of my second mind! [read the valkyries]
haaay... i sooooo have alotta unresolved issues.. was talking wit drew...then r2 and migs called.. jomarc finally called.. haaay shit i need the chokees..... inaway ako ni u know who.. tas nag away pa kami ni jomarc.. leche..
never knew one person can screw up ur life?.. maybe i am right... maybe i aint ready for love, so i gotta quit pushing it, right? maybe loving really aint for me.. tama nga sila.. kung sino gusto mo, ayaw sayo. sino may gusto sayo, ayaw mo naman..
jomarc's right... fucc yeah he is... an ex is an ex, so why am i affected? maybe because i still care for him.. maybe because i aint over yet? i know i am! i know i am! he's right too.. what happened was a slap on his face [but theres a bright side.. pao, pat and jem called... awww they care =) sweet nga e.. they wanted to pick me up... tas shempre galit si jomarc coz bakit daw sa kanila pwede ako, sa kanya ende...leche.. this is soooo going to be a long sunday! nieta!]
to jomarc, [if ever he's going to read this]... hun, the only reason why i got affected was because i thought what i was doing wrong then was bound to happen again.. akala ko mali nanaman mga ginagawa ko... shit... im sorry i know twas a slap on ur face.. super sorry... another reason is that i've had very very low esteem because of what happened.. seriously..so one bad comment could lead me to a nervous breakdown [thats the reason why i beacame an alcoholic too] im a wreck, emotionally... haay.. i dunno... i'll be the bigger person, ako na iintindi..
as for raph.. eto na for closure purposes.. i did love you, and yes with all my heart, i treated u like crap, maybe, but please never disregard every single thing that i did for you. never act as if nothing ever happened between us. and yeah, i know ur regretting every moment that we spent together. im sorry if i wasted 11mons of ur time.. oh wait, u had fun during the last 4 mons, right? so those 4mons werent a waste after all... u had fun playing with me, right? waiting for me to pick myself up from the ground then breaking me into pieces again, right? u had ur fun... but this time im going to make it end right now. this very night. thank you for being such a big influence in my life. u really helped me. i am forever in debt to you. and now those things will never haunt me for the rest of my life, because they helped me grow up. prolly like u, acting all mature and tough, like ur heart made of stone. thank you, because i finally learned how to love and i finally knew how to be happy. yes, i never showed it to u, but my world knew all about it.. my heart was jubiliant because of you, thanx to u. thank you for being there for me during the times that i needed you. i will miss u for that. u know why ako nanghihingayang? kasi i felt as if i lost my best bud when we ended things. i was happy when u said friends na lang, but that never happened. it was all wishful thinking. friends dont have boundaries. dont worry, i know u dont need me in ur world. drama, right? but i know its true. wasting my time, no im not. explaining my side? not even close. prolly just telling u how i really feel/felt. oh and yeah, when i told u about the next step, i meant where we can finally be ourselves with each other. at ease. not minding what one would think. be that special someone for the other in a sense that ur comfortable as if ur amonst friends. i thought we were ready for that. i guess i was, i guess u werent. i thought that the sparks were not that necessary, as long as the love was there it would all be ok, guess i was wrong. i thought we could carry on and be like grown ups. i thought we could handle them all. guess i was wrong. that was what i meant with "the next level". i thought we were done with the "honeymoon" stage. i thought we were more than just lovers.. but yeah i guess i was wrong with that too... i guess i've had a lot of faults in our rel. sabi ko nga sayo, inaako ko lahat, as in lahat, diba? but it was all pointless.. but dont worry, its all over now. u wanna erase me in ur life, fine by me. thanx and goodbye. oh and yeah take care of urself, k?
haaay just hafta deal with the crap with jomarc... nieta! ok na e! tumawag na ulit e.. haaay... oh well.. i'll fix that tomorrow...
haaay... nietang araw toh... twice lang ako natuwa! one was with anthony [and his ugly gf btw] kasi i got my PVD flyers and the 2nd was when pao, pat and jem called to check up on me... aside from that.. wala na! saya noh?
haaay... fuccer.. oh well... :( gotta sleep.. got fuccin school laterz! nieta! |
